I seem to have forgotten that
Tomorrow is just another yesterday
And that my tears
Have already dried out
My cry
Seems so useless
Like begging mercy
To a cruel tyrant
Who will have his way
Anyway
And who has already
Written your sentence
There’s nothing more to be done
Just wait
Just live
With a fake smile on your face
And a faint hope
In your melting heart
I want..
I want to be forgiven
For I must have comitted a terrible crime
Long ago..
It seems so strange
That love could save me
When I have no love
When I try not to hope
When I want to lose my dreams
Somehow
Somewhere
In the thick mist covering my soul
Covering my whole being
I want to be forgiven
For I know not what I am
For I am too afraid to find out
For I need love
My eyes
Know not why they have been cursed
To see a picture
So strange
So full of pain and blood and fury
So amazing, so full of hope
So lacking balance and justice and love
Needing love
What a strange word
Uttered so often
With a different meaning everytime
Always the same
Always trying to save
At least one ray
One ray of light, one ray of beauty
And succeeding everytime...
I have been slapped
Over and over again
With such strength
But felt nothing
Never any feelings...
For I had become so little
Almost inexistent
Covered by the shelter
Of your words
They cursed me and saved me
Hit me and lifted me
Stole all my thoughts
And then left me
To lie there
To melt there
I felt my heart
Trying to jump,to dance
And yet just preserving
That cruel silence
That meant nothing
That brought nothing
Just peace
Just pain
Just happyness
Your words seemed too big
For the small door locking my brain
But my heart wanted them so badly
My heart had no doors
And they rushed in
Glad to have found a home
A home dumped long ago
By a reckless ghost...
And still
That was not enough
The words kept coming and coming
Singing a song I had not heard before
And making me a prisoner of my own heart
Of their own power...
So ruthless were the words
So unaware
Of the sweet pain they caused
And everytime
One of them said goodbye
A piece of me became a souvenir
And I bled
And forgot I ever owned it...
Thank you for the words
And for taking
What no one else wanted
Thank you for not leaving
My soul empty
And please
Never look into my eyes
For then you would take everything at once
And that would be such a pity
You would leave me empty again
Much too soon...