diagnosis: emotional illness.neurosis.anxiety neurosis.depression.chronic depression.depressive personality. bad person.hysterical features.obsessive features.schizoid features.somatic complaints. introverted personality.bordeline personality.artistic personality.an intense need to create.a deep need to help others.oral needs. primitive dependenncy needs. reaction formation.counterphobia.me.me dreaming i was holding my hand walking through the hospitals corridors.went down to the library and checked al the psychiatric texts....than pushed the book on the windows ledge.reflected in the glass , some face , all eyes burning in the transparency of an unforgetable look " you recognize me , dont you darling?".... autistic person shouts and shouts and shouts sliding glass door.... for now ill sit here in the dark corner of my mind and i dont know whos hitting me.theres music somwhere.. and im sitting here all by myself inside a taxi taking me to nowhere ... im walking around this party with a drink in my hand .. and i suddenly see the dolphin that saved me... but you dont smoke. youre talking , telling me this story and not only I cant concentrate or understand ... I cant stand the incessant sound of your ignorance in your voice. and is again the windows ledge I stand on , bare feet on slippery ice and theres something i disllike about everyone in that room.but i like you ,..and i resign myself for being here .show me the winter . why wont you show me how to practice on that so exquisite way of talking about terms .. outside this dark corner of myself.there was this student... trying to manipulate me , to give me food show me that the world is good. a student studying psychiatry. i only needed you.